When life feels overwhelming and too much to deal with, it can be hard to know what to do.
You need a coping strategy that's stronger than what you're feeling.
This video goes into Dialectical Behavior Therapy's (DBT) four crisis survival strategies.
If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:
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If you prefer to read, here’s what you need to remember about coping skills:
Coping skills are not meant to solve the problem. They're really just meant to help you hang in there through the intensity of whatever overwhelming emotional experience you're feeling. Problem-solving comes later.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy suggests that you remember these strategies, using the acronym TIPP.
TEMPERATURE
When most people get upset or emotional, they tend to burn off more energy. There's a lot of physical stuff that's going on so we tend to heat up. Literally cooling down our physical temperature, can help in these moments.
You can do this by taking a shower, running cold water over your face or this part of your forearm, it's a little more sensitive to temperature changes so that's a great area to run some cold water over. You can chew on some ice, or even drink a cool glass of water- which has some bonus benefits because when you stay hydrated, you tend to feel better physically and you have more energy and focus, and motivation.
Plus, when you drink water, you produce more saliva, and saliva actually helps to calm us down. If you've ever seen a stressed-out dog panting, they're trying to create saliva for that same effect.
INTENSE EXERCISE
Now, of course, please run this through a primary healthcare physician or a fitness professional. I am not one of these, so make sure you are checking with them that you don't have to do any modifications.
Intense bursts of exercise are not your routine, regular, 20 to 30 minutes of exercise a day. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about a short, quick burst of energy.
That could mean, doing some jumping jacks, it could be holding a plank position, it could be holding some yoga poses or stretches. It could even be getting up and pacing around the room. Whatever you can do to just kind of get the energy flowing out of your body, will be really helpful.
PACED BREATHING
A lot of therapists love to talk about the benefits of deep breathing, and I am one of them, but deep breathing is only one form of paced breathing.
Here are a few types of paced breathing you can try:
*NOTE: There are demonstrations of each type of paced breathing in the video. Click here to watch it on YouTube: https://youtu.be/SS7jT-3lam4
Square Breathing
Start by breathing in for a count of four
Hold for a count of fourBreathe out for a count of four
Hold for a count of four
Repeat that cycle
Deep Breathing
I like to start with my feet flat on the floor ('cause I like to be where my feet are)
Sit up as straight as you can, but comfortably, almost kind of like those marionette dolls, imagining that you have those strings pulling you up. Sometimes I roll my shoulders to help.
You can either keep your eyes open, you can have them completely closed, or you can have them in what's called “half-moon gaze,” which is where you're staring at something unfocused in front of you. Some people get distracted with their eyes open because they start to notice and see everything around them, others get distracted with their eyes closed because they're too focused on their running thoughts. There's really no right or wrong way, whatever is gonna work best for you.
Breathe slowly in through your nose
Then, even slower exhale your breath out of your mouth.
Repeat that as many times as you need.
Alternate Nostril Breathing
Hold your right nostril closed with one of your fingers
Breathe in through the open left nostril
Using another finger close the open left nostrilRelease your finger to open the right nostril
Breathe out the open right nostril.
Repeat this in reverse.
Breath of Fire Breathing
Sometimes when we're panicking, having a full-on panic attack, or even when you feel like one is coming on- being told to slow down your breath isn't gonna be helpful.
If you could slow down your breath, you wouldn't be having a panic attack.
So instead, trying to go with it and get control over the increase in breathing, can help you then reverse it and slow it down.
Here is how you use Breath of Fire:
Very strongly and shortly breathe in and out very fast through your nose
Repeat for about 10 breathes, or 10 seconds
Breathe normally and see if you need to repeat another cycle or move on to another coping strategy
PAIRED PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION
You know those stress balls that people have hanging around? You use them when you're really stressed out by squeezing them then releasing them. That is paired progressive muscle relaxation at work.
If you don't have any stress balls, that's okay. I like to pretend that you are squeezing lemons or oranges. What you do is you just pretend that you have them in each hand and you squeeze and release, and then you move to the opposite hand and squeeze and release.
Alternating the hands like this is called one pass. So if you do that six to eight times, slowly, it will help to slow down you emotional experience so that you can get focused, clear and in control and then, you can go to problem-solving.
Tell me….
I hope that you found this information valuable and helpful and if you did, let me know in the comments over on my YouTube channel- you can click here to go to this video.
And please be sure to share this video because you never know who you could be helping in the process.
If you want to know more about how to deal with disappointment, click this link to watch a great video on this very important topic.
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