I’m a Mental Health Therapist—Here’s What Actually Happens When You Cry in Therapy

Ever wondered what therapists do when you cry in therapy?

👉 You’re not alone. This is such a common question—and honestly, one that carries a lot of emotional weight.
A lot of people feel nervous about what might happen if they start crying in a therapist’s office.

• Some worry they’ll be judged.

• Others assume that therapy only works if you cry.

• And many carry the belief that crying = weakness... even when they’re showing up in therapy to learn how to be more emotionally open and vulnerable.

So let’s clear a few things up together.
I’m a mental therapist breaking this down in a way that’s kind, honest, and hopefully... a little comforting.

First of all: It's okay if you cry—and it's okay if you don’t.

There’s no gold star for crying in therapy.
There’s also no shame if you do.

We’re not here to make you cry.
We’re also not here to stop you from feeling something real.
What matters most is that you’re showing up for yourself in the way that works best for you.

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So... do therapists want you to cry?

Yes, I do consider it an honor when someone feels safe enough to cry in session. It means you trust us. It means you feel supported enough to let your guard down a little. And that’s a beautiful thing.

But crying is never the goal.

Therapy doesn’t have to be a sobfest every time—it’s a real conversation, shaped by what you need. Though if crying happens, we’re prepared to support you through it.

What do therapists actually do when you cry in therapy?

There’s no one-size-fits-all response. Therapists don’t follow a script—we’re tuned into you, your history, and what helps you feel safe and supported in the moment.

Here are just a few examples of what your therapist might do when you cry in therapy:

🌬️ We’ll check your breathing.
If it looks like things are moving toward a panic response, we may gently offer grounding strategies, like deep breathing or focusing on the present moment.

🧠 We’ll assess what you need, based on what’s helped before.
That could mean sitting quietly and giving you space.
It could mean offering a tissue—or waiting until you ask.
It could mean asking where you feel it in your body or checking if you want to keep talking, take a pause, or try a calming strategy together.

🛠️ We might use coping strategies, if that’s helpful.
Personally, I’m a big fan of DBT’s TIPP skills for emotional overwhelm, but everyone’s different. What matters is that it works for you.

💬 We may reflect together on what’s coming up.
Especially if crying feels like a bad or scary thing for you, we might gently explore that belief—not to push you, but to understand where that story came from and whether it still serves you.

The bottom line? You're in charge.

Even when you're crying, you’re not doing it wrong.

Therapy is about building emotional trust—with yourself as much as with your therapist.
Our job is not to take over or rush you.
Our job is to hold space, support you, and collaborate on what feels helpful.

Crying in therapy isn’t something to fear—it’s just one way your emotions might show up.
And however they do, that’s okay.

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If you’ve been nervous to start therapy...

You’re not alone in that.
But I hope this gave you a little insight—and maybe even helped you feel more ready.

❌ You don’t have to be “good” at therapy.
❌ You don’t need to cry on cue.
👍 You just need to be willing to show up and explore what’s true for you.

And that? That’s more than enough.

🛋️ Want more down-to-earth support like this?

If you're ready to start feeling more confident managing emotions (without needing to cry it out every time), check out Your Calm Code — a self-help, DBT-informed program for learning real-life emotional regulation skills that actually work.

You’ve got this. 💛